Written by: David Meckler
Date: November 23, 2016
What if the Electoral College were a college? To be sure, it has a ready listing of courses in political science such as “Red State, Blue State” (textbook by Dr. Seuss); and communication courses, “How the Media and Pollsters Misread the Trump Phenomenon” and How ‘Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow’ got displaced by ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want.’ Did they ever offer courses like this at Trump University?
The Electoral College would do things to enhance its tarnished image and reputation, especially amongst the ranks of cynics and skeptics who question its very existence. It would rebrand itself as THE Electoral College; and sell souvenirs and gear, including T-shirts, sweaters, pants, jackets, and hats.
The college would have an athletic program. It would have a student body of 538 who would all be on athletic scholarship. Sure, they would only play one game every four years on a Tuesday night in November. The Electoral College would look to expand to playing on Friday nights to add to and protect its revenue streams as well as benefit its various television partners: NBC, ABC, CBS, PBS, CNN, Fox, C-Span and MSNBC.
The athletic department would have a compliance officer who would make sure all rules are followed and self-report violations if committed. Written in the athletic director’s contract would be a provision for an incentive bonus in the event of a landslide.
The Electoral College fight songs would include “Florida, Florida, Florida,” “Ohio, Ohio, Ohio,” and “Virginia, Virginia, Virginia.” The college might throw in “Wisconsin, Wisconsin, Wisconsin” to that. The alma mater would be “Carmen Electoral College.”
Would it be called “The Electoral College” or “The Electorial College?” You hear both from people in both parties. Who knows? Who cares? You can’t trump this.